Reflection in the Time of Quarantine - or How my Acting Training Helps in Real Life

When I'm directing, I break down a scene with my actors and ask them about objective, intention, and tactic.

Objective = What do you want?

Intention = Why do you want it?

Tactic = How are you going to get it?

People use other terms, but these three words work for me. When I explain this to a new actor, I use the example of a Mom and a Child. The scene is the Child asking the Mom for a piece of candy. Consider the Child.

Objective: 

What does the Child want? 

Candy.

Intention: 

Why does the Child want it? 

Not sure – this is where the actor has to really dig in and think. 

Are they truly just hungry for candy? Arguably the most boring choice - and also unlikely. There’s almost always more to our stories! 

Do they not really want the candy, but they actually just want Mom’s attention? Oooh, deep. 

Do they think the candy is imbued with magical powers that will grant them the ability to shapeshift if they can eat it in the next 30 seconds?! Setting higher stakes are always more interesting! Acting requires a sense of urgency and creativity!

Tactic: 

How can the Child get Mom to give her the candy? 

Crying, begging, bargaining, sweet talking etc.

Mom has her own set of objectives, intentions, and tactics too. Her job is to REact. Which tactic makes her give the child the candy? It’s fun, I promise.

If you want to try this at home another great example is a mom and a teenager asking to go to the movies.

The Child and the Mom have to make these acting choices based on what their character would do. In order for the actor to answer these questions, the actor has to know who the Child and the Mom are. Every individual has their own unique set of circumstances. These circumstances directly affect our objectives, intentions, and tactics. If your child is one of my actors ask if they've filled out a character analysis worksheet before to start the wheels turning and get them thinking about who they are and how to answer these questions. 

As a high school actor, that concept is extremely difficult. Honestly, I don’t think I truly understood it during my college training either. It takes life experiences. It takes perspective. It takes listening to others. It takes pure unadulterated empathy.

I watched Little Fires Everywhere this week after reading the book (book and series are different but both worthy of your time). I recommend the series based solely on the fact that Kerry Washington and Reese Witherspoon could read the phone book and make it seem character driven and dramatic. It’s set in 1997, which gives some fun nostalgia nods to fashion and music. However, the setting also provides an opportunity to use our modern perspective to examine how we talked about race, gender, social class, sexuality, mental illness – you name it. We thought we were being so progressive in 1997. However, looking back made me cringe. It is a very interesting series that caused me to think. Bonus, Joshua Jackson plays the dad. And is there anything more 1997 than still thinking Joshua Jackson is hot?! #TeamPaceyForLife

I digress.

In Little Fires Everywhere there was a great exchange. Elena (Witherspoon) is angrily chastising Mia (Washington) about Mia’s lifestyle and past. Elena yells, “A good mother makes good choices.” Mia retorts, “You didn’t make good choices. You had good choices. Options that being rich, and white, and entitled gave you.”

I acknowledge that I do have choices. And opportunities. And options. It is my set of circumstances.

This time in our history is challenging. But I’m also seeing it as an opportunity for reflection.

You might say "Geez, Emily. It's really easy for YOU to have time to reflect." I agree. I am employed. I own a house. A car. I have money for food, my cellphone bill, and Netflix. I do not have children I am responsible for or attempting to teach at home. I do not have elderly parents to care for. I am healthy. These are my given “set of circumstances”.

But you’ve spent three minutes reading this blog post, so I would argue you can spend another three asking yourself some reflection questions too.

So, how can we reflect? I do it like an actor.

I look at what I want. 

And then I look at what I really want. 

And there, at the core, are the things that really matter to us. 

Dig deeper. Don’t stop at “I want to see my friends” “I want to go back to school” “I want to go back to work”. Keep asking and asking until you come down to that very core. 

Your answer will be different than mine. It will be different than your family member’s or friend’s. That’s because everyone’s set of circumstances is unique. Once you’ve found this very core, this “nugget” - you've found your basic human want. 

Now you can focus on the tactic – the “how” of your next steps. That is going to look different than before. You can’t use the same tactics to get the same outcome. Our circumstances have been altered. Much like the Child’s candy being a source of magical power that expires in 30 seconds unless you eat it, our stakes have been raised.

The outcome may look different, but we can still get what we want.

This time of reflection and perspective is a gift. It can show us the very, very, very innermost parts of ourselves. What matters most.

How are you going to change your tactics to get what you want?